It Gets Better

How I spent my Arafah

This year was my first Arafah fast, alhamdulillah. The reason being it my first was because I was recently introduced to its utmost beauty. Immediately I realized what a major loss I had incurred having missed out on all the previous days of Arafaah in my life! This is an ultimate bonus deal where you get cleansed off your sins of the previous year and the next - pure delight for any Believer right? 

The 9th of Dhul Hijjah or the Day of Arafah is one of the great days mentioned in the Holy Quran. Allah (swt) descends to the nearest heaven to answer the pleas for repentance and to reward the ones who observe prayers, fasts, or dhikr. How could I have missed out? 

This morning I woke up for my Suhoor along with my siblings, alhamdulillah. They too have been blessed with the conscience to be young devotees of Allah (swt). My stomach acid had caused me to miss out the previous Dhul Hijjah fasts, so I made a prayer of making it through the day without any pains or burns bothering me between my prayers and dhikr. 

I usually sleep after my Fajr prayers. Today, I chose to stay awake because I wished to observe the morning Chasht prayer. Alhamdulillah, I prayed Chasht which is considered to be a sin cleanser itself! I followed on with abundant dhikr, alhamdulillah, starting with the takbeer and tahmeed and reciting surah al Fajr which holds the mention of the ten blessed nights i.e. Dhul Hijjah. I allowed my dua'as to be sincere and I sought sincere repentance of my sins. I know what have I been and what have I done. I am not very proud of it and so I needed the spill of tears there! I begged Allah (swt) to have mercy on me and not to enlist me with those whom He dislikes. I prayed to be evicted from the blaze of Hell fire and I prayed for a life of purity and piety ahead, inshAllah, ameen.

Today was a mission against Satan - the Evil Whisperer and I know that not only the pilgrims of Makkah with their pebbles but me too have owned him - humiliated his guts - BADLY! And I have a message for him tonight after concluding my day of worship with a delicious Iftaar and prayers ...

THIS IS JUST THE BEGINNING! SHOW ME WHAT YOU'VE GOT! I'D SHOW YOU ...!!!

Day of Arafah - Your Ticket to Paradise

It would be unfortunate if we do not realize the incredible beauty of the faith we belong to. Allah (swt) has studded our lives with nothing but opportunities upon opportunities to walk our way straight into Paradise. 

This; what appears to be a black cube studded with velvet ebony and strings of gold, is the epicenter of our very belief in the Oneness of our Lord. Some people are fond of having its majestic photos framed and hung up on the walls of their houses, others like to invest heavily on pendants and charms which are imitations of the House of Allah and feel that they are expressing devotion if they wear it around. Our faith is not about symbols and material objects. The reason this House i.e. the Ka'abahtullah was built by the prophets Abraham and Ishmael (peace and blessings be upon them) by command of our Lord. It is not worshiped! No material object is worshiped. But it is the center towards which every praying person in the world has to face towards - 5 times a day OBLIGATORY - to prove that he or she is part of the faith which believes in One Allah (swt) the Lord of the Heavens and the Earth. 

Today was a remarkable day. It is Dhul Hijjah (pronounced zill-Hajj); the last month of the Islamic calendar. And today was the 9th of Dhul Hijjah - the day when the final rite of the annual Muslim pilgrimage to the house of Allah (the Hajj) was performed. Billions of Muslim pilgrims from around the world; having invested a large chunk of their fortune, had set out about a month ago for the love of their Creator towards this great day. Today, with the final ritual of circumambulating 7 times around the House of Allah (swt) they concluded the most rewarding of all journeys of their life! It is said that a person becomes as clean and pure as a newborn child after performing the Hajj. Wow!

And Arafah - the grand finale event of the pilgrimage - is a day of great merits even for non-pilgrims around the world. It has its significance deep rooted in the very history of this earth's creation. Arafah is also the name of the great ground where the entire world's populace would gather on the Final Day! And this is the very ground where Adam and Eve (peace and blessings be upon them) reunited after being separated for hundreds of years in punishment for being expelled from Paradise.

The non-pilgrims can seek their way into Paradise by fasting the 9 days of Dhul Hijjah and in particular the day of Arafah. It is today when your fast would evict you (according to a hadith narrated from Sahih Muslim) from your sins of the past year and the year ahead. Can you believe this? You're being forgiven in advance for the mess you'd be creating (may Allah forbid you) next year! What more is it going to take you to acknowledge the GREATNESS of your Lord and the BEAUTY of your faith?

“There is no day on which Allaah ransoms more of His slaves from the Fire than the day of ‘Arafah. He draws close then He boasts about them before the angels and says, ‘What do these people want?’” (Sahih Muslim) 


Arafah comes once an year to cleanse our spirits of all evil. This is a day when Allah (swt) descends to the nearest Heaven to hear our pleas for repentance and to answer our prayers. Millions of people; on this day, are evicted from a terrible fate of burning in Hell fire and each one of us should strive to be on that list! 


It is not difficult. It takes prayers, dhikr and fasting or even one of the supererogatory acts of devotion for your Lord who had blessed you with the best. As the pilgrims chant "Labbaik Allahumma Labaik" "I am present O! Allah! I am present!" it is up to the rest of us to hold that belief of being accountable to our Lord and to indulge in deep prayers on this day.


Arafah shall take you through ... all the way to Paradise. Make sure you have your ticket.


Sisterly yours,
@num @.

Ready! Set! Groom!

I have been in slight neglect of myself for about a week I guess. No! I don't have boogers hanging from my nose or dirt on my face BUT my heels have kind of fallen prey to the Fall and the coming of winter and they kind of cracked! Not good! I keep getting the carpet fur sticking to the cracked heels. My skin's dry and flaking due to the onset of the cold wave. I am not obsessive compulsive but yes! It is part of being a perfect Muslim woman to keep yourself well-groomed. And there is a whole lot of NEGLECT on the part of sisters because they don't know their facts right and go on un-groomed and unkempt, thinking that no grooming is modesty.

Your body is sacred trust between you and Allah (swt) dear sisters and keeping it beautiful and preserved is your duty, I tell you! The first preservation is the spiritual where you are modest and do not give yourself away to the sight and touch of strange men. Ughh! And this includes the "boyfriends" and "fiances" as well. And the second preservation is where you protect yourself from the influence of biological and natural processes. You keep yourself clean and odor free after you pee or poop, you keep yourself beautiful despite the effect of some hormones on your outward appearance. I shall tell you how ...
BATHING ROUTINES

Some sisters feel that regular bathing is a waste of time. No, really. I have heard "I don't need a bath". Seriously? So what ... your armpits don't sweat? Your scalp never gets grimy? Wow. And sometimes, despite the bathing, where sisters treat themselves with lavish concoctions from The Body Shop, there are neglected areas. Seriously, tell me when was the last time you checked to see if your belly button was clean? Need I go on?
Bathing routines need an investment of time. How much time do you give to your daily shower? 10 minutes? 5 minutes? I say give a good 15-20 minutes and instead of being lost in thoughts while standing under the shower and thinking about being America's Next Top Model ... actively clean yourself!
Shampoos are made for a purpose. The scalp gets grimy and so you should shampoo at least twice a week. I go for alternate days because my scalp is oily. I know myself ... know yourself.
Get a good shower scrub/sponge to rub yourself with. It is the best way to get grime off you if you have a very sweaty routine. A good shower gel would help you fight the odor!


SUNNAN-al-FITRAH
There are a few grooming routines that are obligatory. Not many sisters keep track or are concerned about these. The Sunan al-Fitrah include (1) Trimming of moustache (2) Trimming of nails (3) Circumcision (4) Removal of armpit and pubic hair

The NAILS need to be kept short and hadith says that you should HURRY to shorten them when they've been growing for long. You cannot go over 40 days max to trim your talons. With all the bit about nail art, sisters have gone off track here. French manicures and shades of the rainbow on the nails and what not. Okay, those are beautiful but consider artificial acrylic nails, please? Because with animal-like claws you are definitely displeasing Allah (swt). ARMPIT and PUBIC hair need to be removed. Yes! I just said that because it needs to be addressed. If you are ignoring such basics then you need to know that they are not just grooming and personal hygiene obligations that you are overlooking but they are commandments!

WAXING

There are MAJOR arguments about whether removing hair from arms and legs and the body are allowed or not. I have good news. It is permissible. People argue but it is permissible unless you wish to be a grizzly bear in full bloom. You can also remove hair if they are growing on the upper lip as a mustache or on the chin like a beard because these are all affecting your feminine beauty. HOWEVER!!! You cannot cannot cannot pluck your eyebrows! It is a MAJOR sin as mentioned in the hadith. Plucking the eyebrows and making those arches or whatever it is those beauty stylists call them - is not permissible at all because that would be changing the artwork of Allah (swt). If there are hair between the eyebrows then they could be removed because that is not part of the eyebrow line. But nothing else!

SKIN

No tattoos please because these are permanent and your body belongs to Allah (swt). You can always go for Henna which is fragrant, beautiful and temporary.
Know your skin type because you need to maintain yourself. If it's oily then please work on it to keep it dry before you become an oil rig and then become a pimple zone! And if it is dry keep it hydrated with aloe vera and moisturizers so you don't shed off like snake skin!

HAIR

You can have any hairstyle you want except the outrageous ones imitating people who choose to be deviant i.e. punk hair! You can color your hair without imitating obnoxious colors! Make sure all that is happening inside your Hijab and is not available for public display!
Oil your hair once a week to keep it healthy. Olive oil is the best. The Quran mentions the olive (zaytoon) and it has merits. Don't keep the oil in your hair for DAYS ... shampoo after an hour.
Please don't become a case of head lice!

Your morning routine should be very particular, ladies. You should shower (at least the full body if not the hair). Always use a good talc to keep off sweat - at least most of it. Use a very mild fragrance on the inside of your garments (preferably on the undergarments) so you don't smell like a public garden. DRESS up well even if you are a house wife or a stay at a home girl. Because if you feel great about yourself only then can you be your fullest in life.

TAKE CARE List
Cracked heels
Long nails
Dandruff / Oily Scalp / Lice (bugs!!!)
Split ends
Scum deposits in piercings (ear/nose)
Armpit hair
Pubic hair
Extra hair on the body
Discoloration of teeth
Bad breath
Belly button goo!
Scum in the nails
Scum between toes

Hijab-ified

The Hijab 

THE FIRST STEP

The first step is always the most difficult. Nobody ever has an easy first foot out. Don't tell me you set your foot out of your baby crib and ran a marathon on the China Wall. Because I am NOT believing that. The minute you make a footprint on the shores of this world walking towards the tranquil of faith; the waves from the social turbulence begin attacking before you could even make a trail.

The first Hijab steps have to bear with a LOT of challenges:

• Names-calling: Ninja, Turtle (yeah, two names, not Ninja Turtle), Potatoe Head, Housemaid (Maasi), and what not ...
• Assumptions: "She's under peer pressure", "She's trying to please somebody; the family of the boyfriend she is pursuing for marriage; the guy himself maybe", "It's her twenties hormones, she'd get over it"
• Fashion advice: "If you loosen it a bit your face would look less fat", "If you show a bit of hair you won't look this round" - Okay, fat and round ... anything else?

HIJAB SEQUELS - The poorly directed

When a Muslimah is going through the stage where she is confused about her Hijab decision. there are several styles she may try to please herself. This is basically a stage of self esteem issues where you wish to please others and satisfy their critics and comments rather than pleasing Allah (swt). And so ... come the Hijab sequels. And we ALL know that badly directed movie sequels are never better than the original because you always manage to kill the real essence or two of the original screenplay. Look what happened to the SAW series. Okay ... bad example. But hey ... mutilating the Hijab is pretty much gore and disgust right?

There are sisters who would partially cover their heads and consider it as "something is better than nothing". There is no halfway Hijab solution, ladies. There was the halfway Hijab, the transparent Hijab, the accesorized Hijab with earrings and neck showing ... and of course the airbrushed Hijab when you think it is okay to wear lipstick and kohl. 

Why were these transitions happening? Simple! The sisters have gone nuts! :) And besides that there are self-esteem issues. Unless you learn to love yourself in your Hijab those bits about the Ninja Turtle would hurt you. And you've got to learn ... you've got to discover how to feel beautiful and comfy in your Hijab.

HIJAB-ification

Mind you - my beautiful fashion frenzied sisters - that Hijab is not only to bandage your head up with a cloth and leave the rest of you like an uncovered jar of honey. There are bugs out there and you are sacred trust. Hijab is an entire psychology; a lifestyle change, which includes your ENTIRE dress code, your makeup, your walking style and your speaking style. EVERYTHING has to be themed to reflect modesty and piety! We're talking about the Muslimah brand here, ladies, no CK, no DKNY, no Gucci, no nothing! Brand: Muslimah! 100% HIJAB-ification.

WEAR THE CROWN WITHOUT THE HUMP

No camel humps please, thank you. They look GORGEOUS on camels. Unless you wish to be one. Women with camel humps have been cursed by the way. Read the hadith in the graphic above. The Hijab has to cover ALL of your hair. Do not try showing off the new Garnier Fructis volume effect or the highlights. You can have a full open hair parade in your house before all mahram members, or in an all ladies party, etc. But a no-no in public.

Hijab is the crown that a Muslim woman wears on her head. Wear it right to LOOK like modest royalty. 

DON'T BE A COSMETICS PARADE IN THE HIJAB

I know that the Loreal, Maybelline, Mac and etc. are awesome but not in public, ladies! Once again ... wear them before the ladies - and your mahrams!  And if your intention behind the Hijab is purely to please Allah (swt) then I can bet on it He would make you look beautiful. So get rid of your inferiority complexes. You can always put on a colorless chaptick in case your lips are chapping off.

Also, you cannot pluck your eyebrows! You can remove the extra hair you have on the area above the bridge of your nose which is NOT part of your eyebrows. BUT ... you cannot choose to shape your eyebrows or thin them out. Believe me, they just invented plucking for nothing! If you have super thick eyebrows and you thin them out, your eyebrow line would show like a swollen plump wad of skin. Because the skin from where the tuffet of hair grows out is a bit thicker! Stop ruining the natural look.

You can always clear the nasty facial hair like if you have a moustache growing or a beard!

ACCESSORIZE not EXCESS-orize 

Accessorizing the Hijab is a beautiful art but again ... who are you doing it for? If it's an all ladies party - go for it. If it's your wedding, mashAllah. But if you're off for groceries or window shopping and you have earrings dangling - astaghfirullah. There is no way you can find it okay to show your adornments to men. What shows of you naturally is just fine. But earrings, bangles ... reserve them.

Cover Girl VS Covered Girl

Hijab is a dress code. So it is not okay for you to reveal the curves and shapes. It is not only to wear a loosely fitted shirt but also to take an extra cover over your chest to absolutely erase all impressions of it. The extra cover is mentioned in Surah al Nisa in the Quran i.e. a whole chapter on Woman. It seriously says “extra cover” over the chest. So a shirt won’t do. The Hijab wrap should extend all the way. Or take an additional scarf. Or wear a jacket. I figured coats and jackets would be brilliant for the winters and extra scarf would work beautifully for the summers. The arms too need to be covered all the way till only your hands are uncovered.

To avoid throwing away my entire wardrobe – because I never wore strictly full sleeves – I purchased some sleeve extensions from eBay Alhamdulillah. They have it there and you can buy them. They’re in various colors so you can always tone them with your shirt’s color or contrast them.

Also, it is mentioned in the Quran and hadith that when a Muslim woman walks, people should be able to make out the shape of her body and the distinction between both her legs when she walks. A Jilbab is the best option but sometimes we have personal intolerance for it, or there are cultural issues. It’s better not to attract unwanted attention in a western country. The long gypsy skirt is a great alternative. Either that or really baggy trousers. My personal style is the gypsy skirt. It doesn’t have a tight fitting, not body hugging and when coupled with a super loose shirt and a Hijab it is a brilliant dress! 

O! And by the way ... the feet too are part of your awraah (the parts to be covered) according to the Ruling of Fiqh (Islamic Code of Conduct) about covering feet. Some schools of thought make it permissible for feet to be uncovered. But the Hadith narration says that when Rasool Allah (salAllahu alehe wa alehi wassalam) pointed only to the face and the hands when he was asked which parts of a woman can be uncovered. So I got socks! Loads of them! 

Keep your feet decorated with Henna if you like, wear anklets, whatever ... but make sure there are no non-mahrams around!

Take special care about the fact that you cannot pray with NAIL COLOR on! Why? Because your Wudu (ablution) - the washing and cleaning ritual before the prayers - is VOID when you have nail color on since it forms a thick non-penetrable coat over your nail so your nail is still unclean inside. And there is no such thing as making Wudu and applying nail color and assuming they are clean under there FOREVER! So you might as well stop using the nail color . And if you are a crazy nail art and color fan then buy those glue on nails and paint them with all the colors of the rainbow if you want! OR ... WAIT TO GET YOUR PERIOD when you won't be praying and can apply the nail color. Phew! If it's that big a deal. But WAIT ... you cannot really go public with that because WAKE UP CALL!!! it is an adornment. So you've got to cover it up and show it at that ladies parties where you can show it off. 

I don't like all that hassle of doing all this so I quit nail color altogether. I'd probably put some on my wedding day and make my husband remove it later on because I have really lost the hang of the smell of nail color remover. 

Also ... according to the Ruling of Fiqh (Islamic Code of Conduct) it is against the Fitraah principle to allow the nails to grow long because it is unhygienic AND the appearance of long nails is repulsive because animals have long talons and claws. Men and women with long nails are condemned. I know I don't wish to be listed as in resemblance to an animal!

Cut the Givenchy Overload Out

A woman who sprays herself in perfume and walks out like a fuming bouquet is described as being equal to an adulteress who invites people towards herself. I wouldn’t want to go anywhere near that term. Do you?

It doesn’t imply here that you roam around with foul body odor! Please! There’s always a Halal way to things. Bathe early morning and use a mild body spray INSIDE your clothes – preferably on your undergarments – spray a good, effective body spray in SMALL quantities. This shall not smell all rosy out of your clothes and will also keep body odor away! And NO! Even Itar or Musk are not Halal for a woman to use explicitly. 

AN IDEAL MUSLIMAH

Ummah - The Crowned Jewel

Amidst all the gifts of my Gifter

Mind wonders, which blossoms best?
Each one's a gem of the bouquet

I put each to a difficult test.
Subhaan Allah! Each one's priceless,

I praise the Lord for each nai'mah.

But the crowned jewel amidst them

Is the gift of being the Ummah.

The Ummah Mustafavi!

Of the Saadiq and Ameen,

Messenger, al-Hadi,

The Rehmat ul lil Aalameen.
It may go unfelt

In the daily chaos of time,
The silver platter of being born

In a Muslim paradigm.
A prenatal gift it is

Since the day our mother's conceive.
We were born to the Takbeer

As its sweetness in our ears seeped.
And then it came so easy

Like breathing is easy to life.
The Five Pillars; and the Hour,

Knowledge came as no strife.
The Quran in our hands; the Covenant,

The Sunnah; our light, our guide.The Ummah's promised eviction

From Hell's devouring pride!
For us the Mustafa (saww)

Shall himself intercede,
And how can Allah deny

When His most worthy would plead?
The gift has come so easy
But to cherish is the deal.
For if we keep the wounds neglected
They'd poison rather than heal.
The sins are wounds to the Ummah
And the remedy is Taqwah,
If the crowned jewel goes tarnished
It would loose its place in Jannah.
To be worthy of the Hadi (saww)'s plight;
Worthy of his intercession
The Ummah needs to strengthen
The Khush'u in its prayers
In the Durud, its compassion.

"Khushoo" - Strengthening The Connection

LECTURE NOTES

Lecturer: Yasir Birjas

Source: Al Ghurabaa.org http://www.alghurabaa.org/lectures/yasir-birjas/

Topic: Khushoo

Time Duration: 1 hour

How do you know you are in full khushoo?

•  When you say Allahu Akbar (Allah is Great) you're fully aware of your intention. The Takbeer i.e. the testimony of Allah's Greatness has a profound impact on you. Ali ibn Hussain (a.s.) used to shiver when he said Allahu Akbar. Realize you are before Allah (swt)
• You are focused on your Salaah. Not on your clothes, your shoes etc.
• Your eyes are lowered; not looking around.
• Your hands are folded– sign of humility. You are humiliating yourself in front of Allah. Like a child folds his hands while saying “please please please” to his mother for something. And your neck is lowered down. Be reminded of your sins. Down in submission. For what? Show that you need Allah (swt)
• When you make rukooh; when you bow down, you do it with the feeling that you are putting your intellect and ego down in front of Allah (swt) the one who deserves it and through this humiliation you will gain dignity. 

Means Of Focusing In Your Salaah: Developing Khushoo

• Make wuzoo and sit for a while in praying sunnah and dhikr. If at a mosque, go early and indulge in dhikr
•  Repeat the Azaan with the Muaz’zin
• Prepare for Salaah ahead of time. Focus on what would you be reciting.
• Make your wuzoo and made it thorough. Don’t hasten it.
• Select a place where there are no distractions. If at home, stay away from the TV! “That match can wait!
• Dress nicely for Salaah SPECIALLY for Salaat al Fajr. Show Allah some respect! Believe that He is before you
• Pray the Nafil. Even if not Wajib – increase your reward.
• Read some Quran if you have time. Preferably read what you would recite in your Salaah.
• Make some dua’a and dhikr after you are done. Raise hands and make dua’a.
• Don’t talk too much before Salaah.
• Don’t look around in the masjid – focus on the Salaah that is about to happen.
• Pray at front of the Jamaat – fill front
• Before you start Salaah, straighten your lines. You would be focused more. In rukooh and sujood would not be disturbed.
• Contemplation – about the greatness of Allah whom you would be standing before. This is part of al-ehsaan. He is watching you
• Remember stories of pious predecessors like Ali ibn abi Talib and Hussain ibn Ali
• Remember always the excellence and virtue of khushoo. Before you raise hands remember
• If you’re hungry or in need of toilet do that first. That is hadith. Do not pray in urgency. Plan your day. When you eat don’t have a heavy meal or you would be burping
• If you feel sleepy don’t start Salaah specially Qayam ul Layl and Taraweeh. Take a nap first. Plan for it. If you wish to pray Qayam ul Layl sleep early.
• Compete to stand in the first line of the Jamaat
•   Try to pray as close as possible behind the Imam because when you hear his voice aloud you stay focused.
• As the hadith goes: "count the Salaah as your final Salaah"

How can we keep our khushoo IN Salaah?

• Contemplation – the word Allahu Akbar. Realize it is not just a habit but a submission. Remember the meaning
• Consider the status of ehsaan in your Salaah i.e. the feeling that you are in front of allah and He is watching you. Angel Gabriel (Jibreel) (a.s.) said worship Allah as if you are seeing Him. If you are not at that level then believe that He is watching
• Fold hands and look down to express your humiliation in front of Allah
• Observe the right etiquette of Salaah. The Sunnah way.
• Bring traquility and peace to your Salaah. Slow the speed of recitation. When we pray alone we finish 2 raka’ah in 2 minutes. The same 2 raka’ah behind the Imam are longer. People pray the shortest surah. Invest time.
• Duaa – make duaa and dhikr of beginning Salaah. Subhana kallummah wa bihamdika ...
• Contemplate – over the ayah that you recite. Focus on the meaning of Qul hu Allahu ahad for instance
• Beautify the Quran with your voice it is the instruction of Rasool Allah (saww). Tajweed would add to the beauty
• Remember! Allah divided this Salaah b/w you and Him. Part of it is solely for Allah and part is your supplication. 
• Focus on position of prostration. Look at one place
• Vary your adhkaar of Salaah. In sujood – subhan rabbi al ala … there are other words learn them
•  Never look up when you come back from rukooh – at rabanna lakal hamd – rasool Allah (saww) forbid doing so.
• Don’t get distracted by minor things e.g. the designs of the rug
• Duaa : SUPPLICATION – Rasool Allah (saww) said the closest you would be to Allah in your sujood. Increase your duaa in your sujood.

AFTER YOU ARE DONE

• Do not move right away from your position. Rasool (saww) said the malaika (angels) would be doing duaa for you. Stay! Finish your duaa and dhikr
• Do your tasbih. Rasool (saww) grabbed the hand of Mua’ad and said I love you for sake of Allah. He advised subhan allah, alhamdulillah, allahu akbar
• Do dhikr and duaa
• Just before you move evaluate your Salaah. How much do you need to make up for it
• Pray salat ul nafil to make up for what you missed out
  
  REMEMBER: 
• Closing eyes is not Sunnah but if you find focusing really difficult then you may close them.
• Khinzab is the Shaitaan who distracts in prayers and makes you think of the oddest things. Say azubillah 3 times and blow three times to the left should Khinzab be bothering you