That Menacing Atom Of Pride

While being proud is not entirely negative, in general it is a negative reference and unfortunately it is found like a pandemic in the global Muslim community over several matters. The sense of pride of being Muslims and of being the Ummah of Prophet Muhammad (sallalahu alehy wasallam) peace and blessings upon him, is worth harboring in our hearts only to remember that it does not pollute the hearts with a sense of boastful superiority over others. Other common reasons of pride within Muslim men and women are because of their observance of the Hijab, the growing of their beards, being students of knowledge, being of different countries and cultures, and likewise. In the chaos of the social jungle, while such people compete to rule the roost, that menacing atom of pride takes them far, far away from smelling even the fragrance of Paradise.
An Emotionally Intelligent Muslim Is Proud With Humility
I believe that every phenomenon, unless classified as a solid vice, has a good and a bad side. Likewise, pride has two aspects. Since it is an emotion, a Muslim is required to be emotionally intelligent and channel the sense of superiority into positive expression and productive upbringing of the Muslim community. If he or she chooses to act foolish, the same pride can give birth to social intolerance, derogatory treatment of others, and would eventually tarnish the image of the Muslim nation at large. I find extremists, who claim to be Muslim, to be proud beings who possess such an inflated sense of pride that they despise anybody else who is any different than them. Contrary to such fools, a proud, yet humble, Muslim is tolerant of others.
Do Not Take Pride In Your Knowledge
Do Not Take Pride In Your Appearance
Do Not Take Pride In Your Connections

One Atom is All It Takes To Bring You Down

Model of an atom - The basic particle of all creation

So what is the size of an atom, again? A scientific figure with too many decimal points, but in simple comparative language, there are millions of atoms in each grain of sand. Do you get the picture of how mega-tiny microscopic I'm talking about? That's the size, of exactly one atom, of pride that pushes you far away from even smelling the scent of Paradise. That's not me talking. In the words of Prophet Mohammad, Messenger of Allah, RasoolAllah Sal'Allahu alehe wa'alehi wasallam, "No one who has an atom's weight of arrogance in his heart will enter Paradise," (Muslim, 91). 

Let's put pride under our own Islamic electron microscope today and study it in light of Quran and Hadith.

Pride - The Devil's Trait

The first incidence of the display of pride and arrogance is known to all. It was Iblees, the leader of angels, who stood arrogantly before Allah and refused to bow before Prophet Adam (a.s.). "I am better than him," he boasted, "You created me from fire, and him You created from clay." So think again whose footsteps are you following, what status he has been demoted to, and what would be the fate of his followers.

Another proud being was the Pharaoh (Firaun) the ruler of Egypt in the days of Prophet Moses (a.s.). He was boastful of his stature, riches, and lands so much that he rejected the truth i.e. the Oneness of Allah. He rejected Prophet Moses (a.s.) as Allah's prophet and put him to tests and trials in combat with magicians. We all know what happened to him.

Types of Pride
1. Pride of being more knowledgeable or better off
There is a lot of this kind of pride going around these days simply because people are gaining more religious, academic, and professional knowledge. Degrees, diplomas, and certifications at times do more than just pinning a badge of qualification on a person. They also pin a badge of pride. A doctor, having passed through a tenure of several years of hard studies to get to where he or she is, may talk down everyone else who has a medical opinion. A company's chief executive officer may think everyone else is an underachiever. A person who has completed a religious course may look down upon everyone else as a sinner or somebody less in stature than them.
2. Pride of one's ancestors
Another common pride is that which one feels for his or her ancestoral heritage. Some may be proud about belonging to an influential tribe and others may have royal or noble roots. Some may be from a generation of aristocrats and others may have ancestors from a popular township. 

3. Pride of being more beautiful and/or rich
Being rich and beautiful is a blessing that requires utmost offering of gratitude to Allah and service and politeness to His Creation. 
Influences of media have created a major social dysfunction of praising "plastic beauty" and disgracing the rest. Men and women are not comfortable in their own skins because others who have inherited "artificial, make-believe skins" are proud to put themselves up for display.  The rich and famous parade the streets with pompous displays of wealth reflecting from their clothes, the vehicles they drive, and even the food they eat.
Prophet Mohammad (saww) said, "Whilst a man was walking, dragging his garment with pride, with his hair nicely combed, Allah caused the earth to swallow him and he will go on sinking until the Day of Resurrection." (Al-Bukhari, 3297)
This does not imply that one should not dress and look beautiful. Prophet Mohammad (saww) said, "Allah is Beautiful and loves beauty. Arrogance means rejecting the truth and looking down on people." (Muslim, 91)
Modesty is a trait that is required of a Muslim as essentially as that of his or her devotion to Allah.

The Right Kind of Pride

Being a Muslim is a matter of pride because you are following the best theological philosophy of One Creator. This pride is the right kind of pride and qualifies as a self-esteem booster, however, if expressed in a wrong way it would again be disqualified as a forbidden aspect of personality. Prophet Mohammad (saww) prescribed various ways to express this pride in one's Creator. He asked the people to exalt Allah and proclaim that there is no God but Him. The chants of Allahu Akbar (Allah is Great) and Laa ilaha illAllah (There is no God but Allah) are expressions of Islamic pride and of rising in honor. Unfortunately, they've been misused so much by hostile elements that they've become restricted in meaning only as war cries. That is not true. 

Don't Nuke Your Destiny
Paradise is our destiny and one atom of pride is enough to become that atom bomb which can nuke our destiny. In simple words, don't blow it up out of sheer arrogance.

Child Sexual Abuse - You Better Believe It!

A very thoughtful article "Swept Under The Carpet" from The Sisters Magazine caught my eye. Written by Sadaf Farooqi; a homeschooling mother-of-two based in Pakistan, who also blogs and teaches Islamic courses, the article is an eye-opener and a prescription of preventative measures before a child falls prey to sexual abuse. 

The U.S. National Library of Medicine describes child sexual abuse:

“Child sexual abuse is a form of child abuse in which an adult or older adolescent uses a child for sexual stimulation. Forms of child sexual abuse include asking or pressuring a child to engage in sexual activities, indecent exposure of the genitals to a child, displaying pornography to a child, actual sexual contact against a child, physical contact with the child’s genitals, viewing the child’s genitalia without physical contact (except in medical exams), or using a child to produce child pornography.”

No community or society is safe from sexual abuse of children; even the Muslims. It is a psychological imbalance, most definitely, that compels one to indulge in such filthy acts against the most pure of all creations of Allah (swt) - the children. However, it is the parents' responsibility; particularly the mother, to supervise caution and be on the lookout for her children. Unfortunately, majority of Muslim mothers are unaware of the right and wrong practices in raising their kids. And shamefully, at times, the abusers are the parents or one of the parents themselves astaghfirullah (May Allah forgive).

Unconcerned mothers are the root cause of children falling prey to the vicious sexually disturbed people. Either the child is never informed and made aware of his or her sexual individualism as a boy or a girl, never taught the principles of hiding their awrah because "they are just kids, what's there to hide" or are left unattended. 

As a mother you should pay strong attention towards what you make your child wear. Just because young girls have not reached the age of puberty and the compulsion to wear the Hijab it doesn't mean you can continue to dress them half nude in sleeveless and no trousers underneath. Young children are equally vulnerable.  There should be proper understanding developed amongst children about their private parts i.e. the genitals and they should be strictly taught not to expose them to anybody except to a mother or for a medical exam before a doctor. A great many number of times I have observed how children are "jokingly" made to undress before family members who enjoy good laughs over a kid's nudity. It may not be done as an act of sexual deviancy but nevertheless, why take chances? You never which family member intends on doing what? Nudity is not a means of entertainment - not even family entertainment. 

Children from the age of 7 onwards; at times even before that, become aware of their sexual individualism i.e. the differences between boys and girls. It is a known hadith that girls and boys are to be made to sleep in separate beds and blankets when they reach the age of 7.

Amr bin Shu`aib reported on his father's authority that his grandfather (May Allah be pleased with him) said: Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said, "Command your children to perform Salat (prayer) when they are seven years old, and beat them for (not offering) it when they are ten, and do not let (boys and girls) sleep together".
[Abu Dawud].

Unsupervised and unattended children are also very vulnerable to sexual abuse. I know of ladies in my family who do not find it of real concern that they send their young kids; specially girls, into the "next door" houses unattended. Also, working women feel that the babysitter is the best person to trust while they are out working. Unsupervised sleepovers, too, have often resulted in sexual abuse. 

The abuser is not necessarily a babysitter, a neighbor, or a stranger, it could be your own family member - somebody you would never believe could do such a thing. And great many a times, mothers do not believe what their children tell them. Remember, that everything a child says is not a joke or made-up story. It is a matter of serious shame that parents do not trust what their children say and eventually the child looses confidence in the parent. Several stories say that the abused child did not confide in a parent about the abuser/molester because the parents would either not believe or would blame the child. 

Scientific Theory Signs of Child Molestation

A few signs that you may want to look for in your child or a child you may know are located below. 

• Behavior changes, extreme mood swings, withdrawal, unexplained fears, and crying excessively
• Acting in an inappropriate manner such as sexual activity or showing strange sexual interests
• Wetting the bed, having nightmares, scared of going to sleep, or any other disturbances in sleep
• Rebellious or rebellious behavior
• Regression to infantile behavior, or clinging on to certain adults in their life (including one parent over the other)
• Behavior problems in school or home
• Toilet training habits changes
• Fear of particular places, activities, or certain people
• Unexplained bruises, rashes, limping, cuts. Also multiple injuries that child poorly explains (lying about how they got the injury)
• Having pains. Excessive itching, bleeding, fluid, or rawness in the private regions of the body

(Hub Pages: Signs of Child Molestation, 2010)