A very thoughtful article "Swept Under The Carpet" from The Sisters Magazine caught my eye. Written by Sadaf Farooqi; a homeschooling mother-of-two based in Pakistan, who also blogs and teaches Islamic courses, the article is an eye-opener and a prescription of preventative measures before a child falls prey to sexual abuse.
The U.S. National Library of Medicine describes child sexual abuse:
“Child sexual abuse is a form of child abuse in which an adult or older adolescent uses a child for sexual stimulation. Forms of child sexual abuse include asking or pressuring a child to engage in sexual activities, indecent exposure of the genitals to a child, displaying pornography to a child, actual sexual contact against a child, physical contact with the child’s genitals, viewing the child’s genitalia without physical contact (except in medical exams), or using a child to produce child pornography.”
No community or society is safe from sexual abuse of children; even the Muslims. It is a psychological imbalance, most definitely, that compels one to indulge in such filthy acts against the most pure of all creations of Allah (swt) - the children. However, it is the parents' responsibility; particularly the mother, to supervise caution and be on the lookout for her children. Unfortunately, majority of Muslim mothers are unaware of the right and wrong practices in raising their kids. And shamefully, at times, the abusers are the parents or one of the parents themselves astaghfirullah (May Allah forgive).
Unconcerned mothers are the root cause of children falling prey to the vicious sexually disturbed people. Either the child is never informed and made aware of his or her sexual individualism as a boy or a girl, never taught the principles of hiding their awrah because "they are just kids, what's there to hide" or are left unattended.
As a mother you should pay strong attention towards what you make your child wear. Just because young girls have not reached the age of puberty and the compulsion to wear the Hijab it doesn't mean you can continue to dress them half nude in sleeveless and no trousers underneath. Young children are equally vulnerable. There should be proper understanding developed amongst children about their private parts i.e. the genitals and they should be strictly taught not to expose them to anybody except to a mother or for a medical exam before a doctor. A great many number of times I have observed how children are "jokingly" made to undress before family members who enjoy good laughs over a kid's nudity. It may not be done as an act of sexual deviancy but nevertheless, why take chances? You never which family member intends on doing what? Nudity is not a means of entertainment - not even family entertainment.
Children from the age of 7 onwards; at times even before that, become aware of their sexual individualism i.e. the differences between boys and girls. It is a known hadith that girls and boys are to be made to sleep in separate beds and blankets when they reach the age of 7.
Amr bin Shu`aib reported on his father's authority that his grandfather (May Allah be pleased with him) said: Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said, "Command your children to perform Salat (prayer) when they are seven years old, and beat them for (not offering) it when they are ten, and do not let (boys and girls) sleep together".
[Abu Dawud].
[Abu Dawud].
Unsupervised and unattended children are also very vulnerable to sexual abuse. I know of ladies in my family who do not find it of real concern that they send their young kids; specially girls, into the "next door" houses unattended. Also, working women feel that the babysitter is the best person to trust while they are out working. Unsupervised sleepovers, too, have often resulted in sexual abuse.
The abuser is not necessarily a babysitter, a neighbor, or a stranger, it could be your own family member - somebody you would never believe could do such a thing. And great many a times, mothers do not believe what their children tell them. Remember, that everything a child says is not a joke or made-up story. It is a matter of serious shame that parents do not trust what their children say and eventually the child looses confidence in the parent. Several stories say that the abused child did not confide in a parent about the abuser/molester because the parents would either not believe or would blame the child.
Scientific Theory Signs of Child Molestation
A few signs that you may want to look for in your child or a child you may know are located below.
- Behavior changes, extreme mood swings, withdrawal, unexplained fears, and crying excessively
- Acting in an inappropriate manner such as sexual activity or showing strange sexual interests
- Wetting the bed, having nightmares, scared of going to sleep, or any other disturbances in sleep
- Rebellious or rebellious behavior
- Regression to infantile behavior, or clinging on to certain adults in their life (including one parent over the other)
- Behavior problems in school or home
- Toilet training habits changes
- Fear of particular places, activities, or certain people
- Unexplained bruises, rashes, limping, cuts. Also multiple injuries that child poorly explains (lying about how they got the injury)
- Having pains. Excessive itching, bleeding, fluid, or rawness in the private regions of the body
No comments:
Post a Comment