Written Regret

Assalamoalekum,

I received a little something from Sheikh Navaid Aziz'z  My Spiritual Fix program to which I am subscribed via the website. It clicked a very important issue that I would like to share with all my sisters, inshAllah, and in particular with those who are active as writers/bloggers or use social media more frequently. 

Here's what Sheikh Navaid had to say in the email:

"Do you remember that e-mail you regret writing? The one where you knew you shouldn't have written but did anyways?

As our times progress so must the way we show restraint. Especially when it comes to e-mails, text messages, and social networking it's important not to be impulsive. Life is filled with many trials and will often not go the way we plan, but why make things worse by doing something we will regret (and more than likely apologize for later on...Come on, you know you always end up apologizing, we all do!). So here is a nice tip for you. Next time you're angry and have the urge to tweet or respond to an email, try this instead:

Open up a word document and type up what you want to say. Wait 12 hours, 24 would be best, reread what you wrote. If you still feel like sending it then, and more than likely you won't, then go ahead. If not you can now adjust the message to something that is well thought and more likely to get you the results you desire."

I could really relate to this message because I maintain a personal journal. And lately I have discovered a downside to writing emotions. Negativity, I believe, should not be penned down. Lord Byron once said that if he didn't write down everything he would go mad. But I feel that if negativity is written down it reinstates itself. Also, whenever you glance back at the pages you live it all over again. 

Most of our personal journals, or replies to people's statuses on Facebook or cross-commenting, or replies to text messages are done on impulse. There is no rational thought involved behind it. Undoubtedly, social media have made communication come cheap. It comes cheap; it comes easy, and so it is often thoughtless. 

One of Hazrat Ali (r.a.)'s wise quotations state that an arrow from its bow and a word from the tongue cannot be undone. Similarly, spoken or written expression based on negative impulse is never getting a second chance. 

There is a reason behind why anger is Haram (forbidden). It has an effect similar to that of alcohol and it makes you "act under influence". Communication accidents are so common. We say things we do not mean and eventually end up making a very wrong impression in others' minds. 

Sometimes, personal life bloggers or people who keep private journals argue that unless they write down the negative incidents and inscribe every detail of the "evil" they suffer in their lives, they would not be able to survive! On the contrary, if one invests their energy into positive writing they would definitely work out better. Writing down rage would further instill the rage into your soul and it forms a shell around you. It is always wise to calm down before you write back.

Actions may speak louder than words; but words alone can rip a heart to shreds. Be careful.

Sisterly yours,

@num @.