RasoolAllah (saww) said: "The strong amongst you is not who is able to put others down but the strong is the one who can control himself at the time of anger."
Truly! A person's greatest challenge is to overcome anger which is basically Shaytan (the Devil) invoking us. It makes us loose our calm, our peace of mind, and stiffens our heart, mind and soul! Have you ever seen a volcano at the brink of eruption? It blows up, destroying not only itself but also everything that it touches on its way down and when it cools - there's nothing left but destruction. Our anger is a volcano as well. It corrodes us when it boils inside us and when we blow up it hurts everybody and everything that's there.
When I watched Sh. Navaid Aziz's video on anger called "Why Is The Incredible Hulk The Weakest Superhero?" I got to hear some of the important pointers about ANGER - another one of Shaytan's tricks to cut off our connection with Allah (swt) and eventually the rights of the people (Huqooq ul Ibaad). The highlights of the video are typed in blue. But you've got to watch the video to hear the brilliant examples and enjoy the good humored, funny bits by Sh. Navaid Aziz.
Allah (swt) has placed anger in human beings' hearts for 2 purposes:
1- Defense mechanism
2- Motivator
So this means that anger has been built into our systems for a cause.
ANGER AS A DEFENSE MECHANISM
It stirs up the kind of strength we need in our bodies to revolt against a threatening situation. I've been a pre-medical student before I switched to Business college, so I can actually tell you what purposes can anger serve for the human body to make it our defense mechanism. Basically anger sets off adrenaline which is called the "flight or fight hormone".
It increases the heartbeat so more blood is pumped to the muscles of our limbs (hands and feet) which makes them pick up power! It dilates the pupils of the eyes so we are able to see better in less light! It makes the muscles of the vocal chord tighten so we are able to scream better!
So when in combat to protect ourselves - a VALID situation - anger is our aid to put up a worthy and powerful struggle.
ANGER AS A MOTIVATOR
What? Anger can motivate us? Yes! Anger can drive us towards either the Good or the Evil. But that's your decision. You may choose to channel the explosive energy of anger towards the Dhikr (remembrance) of Allah (swt) and become more focused towards fighting down Shaytan. OR, you may choose to become The Incredible Hulk and break walls down, stomp over people and run into buildings!
Sh. Navaid says in the video:
"Majority of people use anger as a destructive tool and are counterproductive; when angry, towards our cause."
Anger gradually builds up; if not dealt with and done away with, and would eventually explode! The energy shoud
CONTROLLING ANGER
Here are some of the ways mentioned by Sh. Navaid in the video which would help you control your anger. And they're in light of the Quran and Sunnah so you KNOW they're not home remedies!
1. Make Istiadah - remember Allah (swt)
Allah (swt) says in Surah Kahf (Chapter: The Cave): "Remember your Lord when you forget Him." And what happens when we are angry? We forget entirely about the existence of Allah (swt) and that He is watching what's in our hearts and that which we say and do! This is the Devil's working! Spring into action and deploy Dhikr Allah!
RasoolAllah (saww) said that one must recite "A'audhubillahi Min ash Shaytanir Rajeem" "I seek refuge from the accursed Satan" when one is angry.
2. Change the environment
Staying in the same environment would not help you overcome your anger if you are a beginner and your control is weak. You need to change the room!
3. Go make Wudu
Wudu has cooling elements. Not only does it help you fall asleep when performed at night before getting into bed, but when you're angry it helps you alleviate that anger!
4. Changing your physiology
RasoolAllah (saww) instructed that if you get angry and if you are standing you should sit down and if you are sitting then you should lay down.
Scientifically, when you change position, it helps regulate the flow of blood and it also brings about some displacement in your brain which breaks down the rage syndrome building up inside the body.
5. Smile!
This is probably the toughest challenge; smile when you are angry. Or turn in to humor. Snap out of it. Smile is Sunnah and there's no better remedy than a Sunnah inshAllah.
This is probably the toughest challenge; smile when you are angry. Or turn in to humor. Snap out of it. Smile is Sunnah and there's no better remedy than a Sunnah inshAllah.
6. Count from a 100 backwards
MORE ANGER MANAGEMENT TECHNIQUES
Venting and sharing frustration usually results in worsening the state of anger. Also, it makes you indulge in a lot of Gheebah (backbiting) and evil mouthing. Try a quiet reflection.
In your mind try sorting out; through breakdown of events and causes, as to what sparked your fury. A lot of times we release anger on people or over things that are not the real cause of our anger itself!
Indulge in an activity of choice; something that pleases you and relaxes your mind. Try something you are passionate about. Cook! Paint! Sow! Or maybe treat yourself with a snack or beverage!
If you find solace in Salaah go for it! Offer 2 Nawafil and inshAllah Shaytan would be POOF! Gone!
PRECAUTIONS
You need to treat your mind, body and soul well so they do not become breeding grounds for anger and evil! Eating and sleeping well helps keep the mind, body and soul at peace. Make sure you are not overlooking your meals and your sleep so that you do not get agitated easily.
Also, remember a theory I learnt in Quality Control studies at Business College: "Garbage In Garbage Out". Do not put elements of anger and agitation into your mind. These come primarily from TV, Radio, and other media and also from the company you keep! You may not know but they subconsciously manifest into your mind.
EFFECTS OF YOUR ANGER ON FRIENDS/FAMILY/OTHERS
A person who has a hot temperament becomes a prick for his family and friends. He ends up not just annoying and hurting people but eventually they might walk out on him. If he is a husband then he is overlooking the duty of being kind, generous and soft-spoken with his wife. If he is a father he is setting a bad example and promoting an environment of tension, stress and chaos in the house for his children. If he is a brother then he is being too hard on his sisters who expect him to stand guard for them. If he is a son and he directs rage towards his parents ... I think you know the story ...
Friends eventually boycott such a person because he cannot handle good wit and good company without being snobby and angry. People at the workplace develop bitter feelings towards such a person.
EFFECTS OF ANGER ON YOURSELF
People tend to take anger very lightly when it is a serious matter if it has become a characteristic of someone's personality. The state of an angry person is like that of a balloon. It is okay when he feels a bit stressed, tense and agitated. He should make provisions to overcome this. Feeling angry too is understood because we are human after all. But this is the area of concern now. If the anger incorporates itself into one's personality then it transforms into aggression. And a person who cannot let his aggression out in public; he takes to domestic violence! Beating the spouse or the children. This applies on both men and women! If you look at the balloon in the graphic you'd know what you're headed towards if you develop aggression! And when you POP ... you end up in a mental asylum.
CONSEQUENCES
A person who has a hot temperament becomes a prick for his family and friends. He ends up not just annoying and hurting people but eventually they might walk out on him. If he is a husband then he is overlooking the duty of being kind, generous and soft-spoken with his wife. If he is a father he is setting a bad example and promoting an environment of tension, stress and chaos in the house for his children. If he is a brother then he is being too hard on his sisters who expect him to stand guard for them. If he is a son and he directs rage towards his parents ... I think you know the story ...
Friends eventually boycott such a person because he cannot handle good wit and good company without being snobby and angry. People at the workplace develop bitter feelings towards such a person.
EFFECTS OF ANGER ON YOURSELF
People tend to take anger very lightly when it is a serious matter if it has become a characteristic of someone's personality. The state of an angry person is like that of a balloon. It is okay when he feels a bit stressed, tense and agitated. He should make provisions to overcome this. Feeling angry too is understood because we are human after all. But this is the area of concern now. If the anger incorporates itself into one's personality then it transforms into aggression. And a person who cannot let his aggression out in public; he takes to domestic violence! Beating the spouse or the children. This applies on both men and women! If you look at the balloon in the graphic you'd know what you're headed towards if you develop aggression! And when you POP ... you end up in a mental asylum.
CONSEQUENCES
There are several consequences of anger that I can point out besides the ones in blue that Sh. Navaid already mentioned:
- Divorce
- Violence
- Murder
- Vulgarity
- Rape
- Verbal Abuse (abusive language)
- Gheebah
- Revenge
- Etc.
REMEMBER ...
Allah has prepared Paradise for the Muttaqeen and He mentions 2 attributes of the Muttaqeen in Surah Al Imran. They are the ones who "control their anger" and "forgive the people"
InnAllaha Ma'as Sabireen "Indeed Allah is with the patient ones"
No comments:
Post a Comment